25+ Times That People Spoke Words So Profound, They Literally Changed Lives

I’m the oldest of three kids. I’m older than my little brother by 2.5 years and my little sister by 9.5.

When I was about fourteen or so, arguing with my dad in private about something I don’t remember, he, being the second-oldest of eight kids, told me:

“Any decision you make in this household, you make three times. Once when you make it, once when your brother makes the same decision after watching you do it, and once when your sister makes the same decision after watching you and your brother do it. How you treat your brother will tell him how he can treat your sister; and how you treat your sister tells her how she will expect to be treated for the rest of her life, even as far as her future boyfriends.”

That kinda shook me up and made me rethink my role as the oldest child; I started taking my responsibilities as the role model a lot more seriously after that. Even when you aren’t trying to actively influence those around you, those who look up to and respect you will still base their decisions, in part, on how they’ve seen you handle similar situations. If you break down and get stressed and angry when something inconvenient happens, they’ll feel better doing the same when something similarly small happens to them. But if you keep your cool in a dire situation and under a lot of stress, it can inspire them to believe they can do the same.

“How would it make you feel?”

It’s the sentence that changed my stance on gay marriage. Without context, that seems silly, but I’ll offer up a shortened version. I grew up in suburban STL to conservative Christian parents (and they weren’t remotely tolerant) and pretty much never left my comfort bubble. I moved to Kansas City when I was 20 to finish college. My roommate was good friends with a gay couple, and this was my first encounter with gay people (that I knew of, which was ignorant. There’s no way it was my first). Inevitably, we got into a debate, and they basically went into a tirade about how much it sucks to constantly be berated and made fun of, and how it sucks to be treated unfairly because of something they can’t control. I reverted to the classic “it’s a choice!” line of thinking. They responded with “why would we f*cking choose this for ourselves? Why would we choose to constantly be made fun of, to constantly be judged, and constantly be denied rights? How would it make YOU feel?” It was pretty much that exact moment when I, who I consider to be a logical person, realized I was being an illogical asshole and that I was just regurgitating the sh*t I picked up from being raised in a conservative Christian household. From that moment on, I start undoing all of the programming in my mind from years of living in a sheltered environment. My views have since changed on nearly everything, from gay marriage to abortion to religion. One sentence from one conversation with two gay men changed me in a huge number of ways, and now I scoff at the idea that you can’t change someone’s mind about these things.

Everyone you meet knows something you don’t.” My grandfather told me this, and it’s been a good reminder that I am surrounded by teachers.

I recently got married earlier this year, and obviously our marriage is far from perfect. We argue, and disagree, and sometimes can’t stand to be around each other. I grew up in a very hostile environment and having an arguement with a family member was awful. Personal attacks were always used, instant anger, and no mutual understanding was ever to be had. It was always about who was right and how to make them feel bad. When I got married, I quickly noticed that my fighting habits were toxic for our relationship, and my husband said something to me that I use in every relationship I have. He told me, “It’s not You Vs Me, love. It’s You and Me Vs Problem. We are always a team.” It’s helped me overcome some serious rifts in my personal relationships and I will never forget it.

My mom was in a nursing home, recovering from a heart attack (a battle she eventually lost). She had struggled with depression in her life, and this was hitting her very hard. She had worked in nursing homes, and hated them. I spent hours a day with her, and some days were better than others. I pushed her a lot, encouraging a positive outlook, and patience. Patience with herself, her situation, the staff, everything.

I started taking in some headphones, thinking maybe music would cheer her up. So one afternoon I’m sitting next to her bed, and she’s listening to my iPhone, and tears just start running down her face. I pulled the headphones off her and started asking her what was wrong. Asking her not to cry. She looked at me and smiled like a mother looking at her son, and simply asked me “what if that’s what I need right now? To cry?” Then she pulled the headphones back on.

Through all the pain and chaos of the last few years, that really stuck with me. What if sometimes, you don’t need to focus on the positive. You don’t need to smile, and bear it. Sometimes you just need to cry.

“You know you’re an adult when you can be right without proving the other person wrong.”

This is a bit lengthy, but changed my life. Not just the way I think. When I was young my father abandoned me twice as a child. I grew up to be a very angry and depressed young man. I truly hated him for it. In high school, I had this amazing teacher. He helped me, and so many others, in so many ways. But one day he asked me something. He asked “You hate him right?” I said yeah. He said “And he deserves it right?” And, again, I said yes. Then he then he said “Do you think he feels any of your hatred for him?” I thought for a few seconds and answered “No. He probably doesn’t.” And then he said “But you feel all of it. And you don’t deserve that. It’s time to forgive the man. Not because he deserves it. But because you do.”. He was completely right. I forgave my father, and over time have built up an incredibly close relationship with the man. And I could neve have gotten to this point without my teacher.

In terms of love and romance, the truth is, the only person you know you’re definitely spending the rest of your life with is you.

Everything else is simply not guaranteed -no matter how much you believe in “true love†and all that it entails. People die. People leave. People change their minds. When all is said and done, you end up with yourself. So you better f*cking like who that is. In fact, you better LOVE who that is. Work everyday to be your best self. And don’t let ANYONE EVER define who you are without your permission.

People won’t remember the words you say but how it made them feel.

“You’re going to die one day. We all are. Do everything you want to do. Don’t wind up on your death bed one day thinking of all the things you didn’t do because assholes might have an asshole opinion about it. They’re just jealous anyways.”

~ My grandpa at 89 years old; a few months before he died 12 years ago.

And that’s the real quote. It was on video.

“Education is expensive, but no education is more expensive”. Definitely took school more seriously after someone said that to me.

My old boss, the CEO of a small hospital, told me a story from back when he was a lab technician (for simplicity, let’s call him Dan). Dan had forgotten to check some sort of mechanism on a piece of equipment he used, it malfunctioned and broke the equipment which ended up having around a $250,000 repair bill. The next day Dan’s boss called him in to talk about it, and he was sure he was going to be fired. His boss asked him why he didn’t do a proper check, made sure he understood what happened and sent him back to work. Dan asked him “Am I not getting fired? I was almost sure that’s what this was about.” His boss said “No way, I just spent $250,000 teaching you a lesson you’ll never forget. Why would I fire you now?”

It seems silly, but that attitude always resonated with me. Don’t make professional decisions based on emotional responses. Always know what your goal is when dealing with someone, and what exact problem you are trying to solve. Everyone makes mistakes, and yelling at them just makes them resent you and become defensive. Being calm and understanding will make people look up to you.

My dad was/is a deacon of a church, and one part of his duties was to visit with people in retirement homes and bring them communion. He couldn’t go one day, and he asked me (I was in high school at the time) to go in his place.

Perhaps obviously, with me being young and the people in the homes being elderly, age was a frequent topic of conversation. One old man told me, “the hardest thing about getting old is running out of people who understand you.” That is, each generation has a unique way of looking at the world and what it means to be alive in it, and as new generations come and redefine what the world is, one’s world gets smaller and smaller as there are fewer people around who understand your world in the same way.

We are all marching toward obsolescence. I think I became much more of a realist that day.

“There will be something you hate in every job. The trick is finding a job where you love the good parts enough to make up for the crappy parts.”

That might sound like a dumb one to list here, but whenever I have problems related to work (which seems to be where I need most of my motivation) I like to think back on this and take a deep breath. It’s ok to hate where you are sometimes. The trick is to remind yourself what else you like, and power through.

“Depression presents itself in the guise of rational thought.” Said by my uncle.

‘Your job will never love you.”

It made me really reconsider being so emotionally invested in it.

“It’s only embarrassing if you’re embarrassed.” Changed my life forever.

“Shouting a person into silence does not mean you have shouted them into agreement.”

Forgot who originally said this, so I cannot give proper credit.

There is no harder, only hard.

Helped me to realize that it doesn’t matter if someone’s problems are bigger or smaller than mine. At some point, everyone goes through the hardest thing they’ve ever had to deal with.

When I was a young kid and did really well on some tests at school I came home and boasted about it. “Mom! Guess what?! I’m really really smart!”

Mom: “So what are you going to do about it?”

It’s been 20 years and I still don’t know the right answer to that question.

“I learned to give… not because I have too much. But because I know how it feels to have nothing.”

We’re all tired, we all just want to sit on our couch in front of our TV’s. But that’s not living, man.

-My buddy, when I told him I didn’t want to go out because I’d had a long day.

This is a philosophy I live by now. My life is so much better for it.

On the subject of healthy eating/losing weight etc; a bald and muscly gay man once said to me… “Don’t treat yourself with food, you are not a dog.”

“If you’re scared of doing it because you’re afraid that people will judge you, trust me they won’t even remember it after a year.”
Something like that. Made me a little daredevillish.

I rather live a life of ‘oh wells’ than ‘what ifs?’

I was having a bad day one time and being all “Why me?” when a coworker said “Why not you?”. I had never thought about it before, but it was a good point. So I shut up and got over it.

My dad once gave me and my brother each a dollar out of nowhere. I scoffed and said “Dad its just a dollar, you keep it.” He got really mad and said “Never try to give anything back that someone gives you. It could be all they have to give and a huge sacrifice to them.” I felt like such a dick. And I could really use that dollar right now.

“You aren’t IN traffic, you ARE traffic.”

When I was 19/20 my mum started taking out loans to build houses abroad, which I thought was a silly and expensive waste of money but she told me it had always been her dream to own land/be a landlady. Which I thought was strange considering she was a nurse and she’d never once mentioned it in all the years I’d known her.

A few months later it dawned on me that it had coincided perfectly with the time my younger sister (who was the lastborn) had left the house to go off to school. Now considering she had four kids it hit me that she’d basically put her entire life on hold just to take care of us, and this wasn’t just old school got a job, it was full on move to a different country/move heaven and hell to make sure we’d had a good life. And after over thirty years of putting the work in for us, she’d finally turned around and started working on her dream.

Absolutely floored me and was the first “Whoa my mum’s an actual person (and not just my mum) who’d done all this for me.” Appreciate your parents people and hopefully do the same for your kids.

“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but, when we look back everything is different…” – C.S Lewis

The first female leader of the Cherokee Nation came to my college campus years ago. She gave a speech, talking about how her life had been formed by always striving for more, never turning away from the challenge. Her advice was simple: “Go where the fear is” -Wilma Mankiller. When confronted with two roads I always choose what scares me more.

When I was in college a friend of mine told me I was gentle.

After being called sensitive all my life up until that point, and not in a good way, hearing that made me feel a lot better about myself.

In an episode of Louie he tells one of his daughters, “The only time you should look in your neighbor’s bowl is to make sure he has enough.” I’m sure Louis CK didn’t invent that on his own, but it was the first time I’d heard it, and it’s stuck with me.

We judge others by their actions and ourselves on our intentions. Really made me think about people and I try telling myself that when the f*cking idiot in front on me doesn’t indicate when merging.

“Would you rather wake up in twenty years wondering what you missed or wake up in twenty years knowing exactly what you missed?”

Never had commitment issues after that.

My psychologist gave me a print of a picture of Winnie the Pooh and Piglet in the forest. This is the quote that went with it:

“Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?”
“Supposing it didn’t,” said Pooh, after careful thought.
Piglet was comforted by this.

I think about it when I’m catastrophising and it is really helpful for calming down and thinking rationally about whatever situation I’m in.

“Inner beauty is what really matters in a person.” Never believed this until recently. I started dating a good friend of mine a few months ago, and am in the best relationship I’ve ever had. I will admit, when I first met her I didn’t find her attractive and had no interest in dating her. We hit it off really well when we first met and became close friends in no time. The more I hung out with her, the more I realized how much I hated being away from her. Now we’re together and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

I used to fight for every square inch on the job. I wanted to make sure we did everything the right way, cutting no corners. Right before he retired and older employee said 3 simple words. “Choose your battles.”

Sat me down, looked me in the eyes, and said “You will be dead someday. No matter what you believe, there is no hard prove there is anything more. You will never have a chance like this again. What are you going to do?”

“You have an attitude.”

It was said to me by a friend when I was about 25. I’m almost 40 now. He elaborated by saying that my personality carries a huge lack of humility. The things I would say or do, in most cases, was very off-putting to a majority of people. I always had a better story after someone finished theirs. I was full of knowledge on any subject, or whatever opinion I had on the matter was always superior and correct. My way of doing things was the best way. I appeared ungrateful, selfish, and pompous. And I had no clue whatsoever.

I’ll never forget that conversation and the paradigm shift my brain experienced that day. Once I was aware of this attitude I started thinking about my relationships and the environment I created because of my general assholery and douchebaggedness. I actually sunk into depression for a short time, realizing the way I had treated people and taken them for granted.

Over a few years I slowly learned so many things about myself and others. I learned how to listen. To enjoy myself in groups and not need to be the focus of the group. To be compassionate and empathetic. To give advice only when asked, or out of heartfelt concern or genuine worry. To put others first when it counts. To show up. To be a friend instead of a competitor. I’ve learned many other things from that statement, too many to list.

It’s incredible to me how I’m still learning. I think we all are and no one really has it figured out. I know I don’t. But I’ll never forget how that one small statement had/has a long term effect on me.

“If it was easy, everyone would do it.”

My father is a good man. One day I was laughing about something I witnessed at lunch: A lady was across the street from my office sitting on the lawn pulling up grass and eating it. I was making fun of her to my father. My dad replied, “that’s not funny. You’re being unkind. You don’t know what she’s been through in life to bring her to doing that.” It hit me hard. I now find myself correcting my thoughts when I go to judge someone.

“The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so try to make yourself as interesting as possible. “

“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.â€

-John Wayne

When I joined the army I went to Germany, and had to go to a new-person briefing by the chaplin. I’m not religious. I don’t give a damn what the chaplin has to say. Happily, the chaplin didn’t talk about Jesus or abstinence or any of that. What he said has stuck with me ever since, through many moves and life changes:

“When you move to a new place where you have no friends, you’re going to be lonely. You’re going to be overtly unhappy for six weeks, and not really happy for six months. Don’t kill yourself and don’t get married.”

“A fool thinks himself to be a wise man, a wise man knows himself to be a fool.”

I first heard this phrase when I was younger and thankfully it knocked me back a few pegs.

Regarding relationships :

“You should be able to stand in front of every ex’s future husband (or wife) and have them thank you for the impact you had in her (or his) life.”

It’s hard to live this way. But boy is it worth it.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Can’t say it’s changed my life but it was certainly one of the better move lines I’ve ever heard. From “Bad Day at Black Rock”:

A man is only as big as what gets him mad.

Lost my girlfriend, took it really hard. Close friend said: “I know you’re sad, but don’t let this ruin the things that are still good in your life.”

Was a real eye-opener. Things can go bad, a lot can go bad, but there’s always good in your life. Be sure that the things that are still good in your life aren’t ruined, just because something went wrong along the way.

I don’t remember the quote exactly, but I believe Jake from Adventure Time says something similar to, “Being bad at something is the first step to being sorta good at something.”

It made me realize I shouldn’t worry too much about being sh*t at drawing but that I should keep going so I’m less sh*t at it.

“Don’t dwell on the past. All that matters is where you are now, and what you are going to do to get you from where you are to where you want to be. None of those actions will happen in the past, they happen right now.” – My dad.

“Don’t worry about unimportant things. If it’s not something you will worry about in 50 years when you are where I am (on your deathbed), then forget about it, it isn’t important.”. – My grandmother on her deathbed.

Both are gems IMO.

I think mine is when my father told me these words after he saw me crying like a b*tch over my first ever failed major exam.

“Never regret anything in life. You did something stupid? Shrug it off and never do it again. Lost something valuable? Forget about that and convince yourself you’ll get something way better and you will. Regret never helped anyone. It just adds to the load on your back. You can’t turn back time so when something is done don’t ask tell yourself I should’ve done this, I shouldn’t have done that. Tell yourself I will never do that same mistake again.”

and just like that he turned me into the better person that i am today.

When I was in college, I used to call my dad on my 15 minute walk to class. One semester I had classes at 3:30pm, 5, and 6:30pm every day, and nothing before then. I used to sleep until 2pm every day. On the weekends I’d sleep most of the day.

One time he asked me when I woke up and I told him I got out of bed in time for class that day, proud of myself to have slept for 12 hours. I’ll never forget what he said.

“Son, when you get to be mine and your mother’s age, sleeping the day away just seems like such a waste. We’ve got less than half our lives left to live, we just can’t afford to spend half of that sleeping.”

I rarely sleep the day away now.

Sorry for the bad english
“There’s no point trying to track down your SO when they go out, or even asking them not to go, just because you’re afraid of being cheated on. If they want to cheat on you, they will. They will miss a day of work, or lie about visiting their parents, or even fake a medical appointment. There’s nothing you can do about that. The only thing you can do, is being a loving, caring person. This is the most effective way of obtaining someones love and trust.”

After I was diagnosed with kidney failure, I was devastated. My mom then told me a very simple thing – “It could have been worse, it can always get worse. Look around yourself, you’ll find many things to be grateful for.”

And I believed it, I looked around in my own family. One of my cousins has blood cancer and another is HIV+. Their treatments are way more rigorous than mine. I’m grateful for what I still have in my life – a great husband, good finances, loving family and friends. Many people don’t have these and my cousins would gladly switch places with me.

Thinking about what my mom said always makes me feel better.

I was in history class and I forgot to do my homework one time. I was trying to plead my case to the teacher, and I told her that although I did not do the work I knew all the answers and could give them to her right then and there. She told me “it’s not about what you know, it about what you do.”

Best advice I’ve ever gotten.

TLDR: It’s not just how much you make, it’s how much you spend.

My HS Economics teacher posed this question: One person makes $100 per week and another makes $200 per week. Who has more money?

Most of the class said “The guy who makes $200 per week.” The teacher then responded: “You are wrong. Everyone should have asked for the other half of the formula. How much does each person spend?”

Person A spends $80 per week and Person B spends $220 per week. It is often not about how much you make, but about how much you spend. The idea of Keeping up with the Jones’ can make you bankrupt very quickly. Live within your means and save for rainy days, because there are always rainy days.

It was the best advice and motivation I have ever had to keep my personal finances clear. And it has allowed me more freedom in job choices, living locations and other decisions that most people I know are stuck in.

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”

Not said to me, but I read it. Forced me to think critically about life situations and seek out the good in any situation.

“If you always put someone else first, you’re telling them you always come second”

It was something like that, I can’t remember if I’m quoting it correctly. I actually saw this on an Advice Mallard meme and thought it was pretty good.

“Just because it doesn’t get better today or tomorrow doesn’t mean it’ll never get better, so just hold out for the day when it does” – my SO in the beginning of our relationship when I had a lot of pain to deal with and was ready to give up. Changed my whole outlook on life.

“At the end of the day, our graves are all six feet deep and all our urns fit on the mantelpiece”

My uncle, who’s a Mortician. One of the many things that made me decide to get into the business.

My dad did the exact same thing to me.

I had landed a good job and coupled with someone running a red light and totaling my car, I bought myself a BMW. I went into an auto shop for an air filter and kid was asking me what car I had. After I told him, he started talking about his car and how he enjoyed it and whatever. It was a pretty rough looking BMW that he had started to do stuff on it.

I told my dad the story and was kind of poking fun like, “Yeah, his BMW was crap, doesn’t even compare to mine.”

And my dad just said, “Yeah, but he put a lot of work and effort into it and he’s proud of it.”

I didn’t realize how much of a piece of sh*t I was being until he said that. It was only with cars though. I am always supportive of everything, everyone does. After being discredited my entire life for ANYTHING I did, starting at a very young age. Anytime someone I knew was doing something I took a huge interest in it and talked to them about it for hours or days or months or years.

The only thing I really get joy from in life now is talking to other people who are proud and love what they are doing. Any person with passion for something, regardless of the state of their passion. If I can talk to them about their hobby I am the happiest I can be.

“Know where you’re aiming to go.”

It was said by my piano teacher, as in “if there is a low D coming up, know that and prepare for it,” but it applies to so much more. If I want to achieve some goal, acknowledge that goal and then make it happen. So often we don’t properly articulate our ACTUAL goals to ourselves.

When I was in my twenties a therapist said, “you know sometimes people enjoy being depressed.” I realized then that I did, and never was again (in my forties now).

I was a pretty religious kid. In 8th grade a girl said, “I’m so glad I was born into a family with the right religion.” It made me question my whole belief system and led me to becoming agnostic.

“Why would anyone choose to be this way?” My RA in college breaking down crying after some kind of bullsh*t when someone told him it would be easier if he chose not to be gay. Instant empathy. Suddenly I realized that everyone has the same consciousness and emotions as I do, regardless of appearance or preference.

“Put your mind where your body is.”
My Godmother’s lesson. I know it seems simple, but I find that it can be so hard to stay present in the world we live in. This is the most direct and to the point explanation of mindfulness I’ve ever heard and it has really stuck with me.
She passed away about a month ago, and I miss her and her wisdom terribly, but I can still hear her reminding me when I start to forget.

“You cannot keep birds from flying over your head but you can keep them from building a nest in your hairâ€.

“I’m not afraid of death. It’s the stake one puts up in order to play the game of life.” – Jean Girraudoux

It is the only thing I’ve ever read that helped me deal with my own mortality.

“We’re all background characters in someone else’s story.”

Read it on here not to long ago.

Another: “Live like you have nothing to lose, Love like you have everything to lose.”

“I know you’re not okay… but you’ll accept things, move on, and be okay. I know you will.”

“Do it because you’re scared.”

“First of all, I never strive for identity. That’s something that just has happened automatically as a result, I think, of just putting things together, tearing things apart and putting it together my own way, and somehow I guess the individual comes through eventually.”

-Bill Evans, jazz pianist

“shyness is actually vanity in a different guise.”